I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
