just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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