Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
