i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize