everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
