I can't watch pbs sober anymore
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
