After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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