We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
