Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
