so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
