A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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