I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Dick very happy bro
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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