that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
