Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You pole danced in your parka.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I need a hoe opinion
go on
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
