I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
