she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
