I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
