just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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