mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
