hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
