Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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