You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
one two three fourrrrnication!
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize