Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
