So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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