is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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