new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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