This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
