If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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