barbara walters just said penis...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
