just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
