no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
