Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
