Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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