What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
