You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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