You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
