If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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