Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
