yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize