Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
