North Korea, Best Korea!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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