That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
