The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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