apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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