im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
