the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
