If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
