it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
