My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Randomize