I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
