honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
