So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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