And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
