Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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