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...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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