You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
