i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
