addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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