haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
