i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
