somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
