I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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