Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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