This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Too much gin, very little bucket
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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