yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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