i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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