He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
