make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
