Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
