Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
