you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
