I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
